To know me is to hear me talk.....

I am a talker. I have lots of things to say and anyone that knows me has heard a lot of them. When I was in labor with my first son, I did not stop talking even during contractions. Ask my friend, Kristen. I have had a lot of people comment on my talking or make little jokes about it over the years, but it rarely bothers me. I don't just talk in detail, I think, listen, and remember in detail too. If you have told me something, chances are I remember it. In fact, if you have told me something several times and change little parts of your story each time, I probably remember what the changes are and where we were for each variation. This serves me well when disagreeing with my husband, but in all honesty, I don't have to remember much in those cases because I am doing most of the talking then too. I have found that most people think there are talkers and there are listeners, but I don't think they are mutually exclusive. I am a good talker but an equally good listener (if you can get a word in).
There are a few things that you should know about talkers that may serve you well in the future. We are completely comfortable with silence when we are alone, but not if there are other people around. My husband, who is not a talker, thinks that just being in the same place is being connected. I don't agree and believe that we have to converse and "catch up" to really be connected. In social settings, talkers are ready and able to fill any gap in conversation so if you don't feel like talking or listening, do not stand near a talker. We will say something. If you are talking, don't be offended if we cut in. You probably took a breath or a sip of your drink and we thought you were done. Although we know we are talkers we don't necessarily think we talk as much as other talkers. For instance, I come from a long line of talkers. My mom and dad both talk a lot but if you ask them about it they will guarantee that they don't talk as much as the other. My family talks so much (with the exception of my sister) that my husband once joked that he married the wrong sister. Don't worry about my feelings. This comment provided hours of extra fun talking.
If you wish to be able to talk to a talker, there are several tactics to be used in accomplishing this feat. When starting a conversation, do not ever ask a talker, “How are you?”, “What’s new?”, or “What are you up to?” Talkers will always have an answer and our answers will have tangents. You must get right to business and let us know that you have something you need to say. My friends each use different tactics on me. One talks over me knowing that I won't tandem talk and will stop first. Another simply states boldly that it is her turn and I must listen now. This is also affective. Unfortunately, my oldest and dearest friend still patiently waits her turn and on many occasions, we part ways without my hearing what is going on with her. That reminds me; I should call her!
The biggest misconception about talkers is that we think what we have to say is more important than what you have to say. Hence, the saying, "She just talks to hear her own voice.” This could not be farther from the truth. Talkers are actually relating to you by drawing connections from your life to ours and sharing. In truth, we think we are being rude if we don’t talk to you. It is also impossible for us not to be talkers. In fact, we are just as perplexed by your ability to answer a question in 15seconds as you are by our taking 15 minutes. None of my friends are talkers and I love them for their insistence that I am different from other talkers because I listen to them. …see, I was listening!
So, next time you are talking to a talker and she looks like she’s not listening but thinking of what she’s going to say next, please don’t take it personally. Talkers are thinking of what they are going to say next while they are talking too!