Is anyone hiring?

I have heard all the cliches, we all have. Life is short. Don't sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff. Focus on the positive. Don't worry be happy. Ugh. I realize that cliches are cliches because they ring true, but some days it does not feel like it.

Here we sit in front of our computers again trying to will something to happen. My email is set up on automatic send and receive and yet I hit that button just trying to make something come in. I have become a pro at searching all the right sites and have seen almost everything there is to be seen and still we sit here. It is starting to feel like we have fallen into a black whole were no communication exists. That must be it, otherwise we are in big trouble.

I am healthy, we are all healthy. We have a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. Last week we even went to the dentist, that is not just surviving. Right? I see the commercials of the poor children with Aids in Africa and in that moment I know we are doing so much better than so many others. I take a deep breath and feel lucky. Then, just moments later, I feel the heaviness again and none of this feels like small stuff.

I honestly believe that money is just money and in the end it does not matter. Still, I see those balances and get those bills and wonder what we will do. What else can we cut off? What else can we do without? We are not suffering in this beautiful house with all its luxuries. It is an illusion. Just covering the bills, just making the rent. How many trinkets can we auction off to pay for our lives?

Every morning I have hope. Hope for that call, that email. All day I busy myself with life's little jobs, full of hope. Each night I lay in bed with the worry that tomorrow will be the same as today and another month will pass. Again I go through the cliches. It will all work out. When one door closes another opens. It is all as it should be. Small stuff. Small stuff. Small stuff.